Presentation - Plain Words - Layout and Design

For the purpose of this exercise we will look not at the content, or the meaning of the words, but at how they are presented to the reader. There are two styles below.

The idea is to make it easier for the reader to engage in our message. The greatest message in the world might be lost before it is delivered.

Communications

I called Linda on this. She was glad for the extra eyes.
I think we all need help.
That's why we have someone to change our oil, cut our hair
and sometimes cook our food.
I can look over your work.

Name removed

Client - with an n.

Just showing what I might be able to help you with.

ER - valauble information

I know this person. She can spell. Really.
She got most of the words right. Right? Is that enough?
Details count when we're trying to be of value to new and existing clients.

How can I help you maintain a credible presence?

It's beyond affordable. It's profitable.

Need proof?

ER - Is this a question?

So, is this a question?

ER - Pester Proofreading can land you in the Emergency Room

She says - "Somehow (I really do not know how - after all, I pester everybody about proofreading), I had the wrong time listed on the event site for the ....."

Hard to make a buck that way. Or appear as credible as you probably are.

I have adopted the phrase Pester Proofreading in order to compare it with Professional Proofreading. Your friends, family, peers, superiors and subordinates have their own agendas. They may pay you the attention you desire when you can make it worth their while. And paying attention is what proofreading is about.

=======================================================

Someone, whose name has been removed, is offering a teleconference in writing profiles for Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. There's a typo in the number of characters allowed in Twitter. The invitation would be more readable if the text were set flush left. Flush left helps the eye move with ease to the start of each line.

=======================================================

If this person were to use bullets "•" or asterisks "*" between service offerings or areas of expertise instead of these "|" I would not be writing this sentence. The vertical line is fine when YOU can control the font display. Sometimes this mark looks like the letter "I" and that pulls the reader away from your message.

=======================================================

Here we are not spelling Facebook right. That's not a good thing.

=======================================================

The Doctor will see you now.

Emergency Room for local High School Principal

David,

This is the Principal's Letter page from a local high school.
To be fair, it does say "under Construction", but still...

* * * *

Thank you to alert reader Pat Prosser for sending this news bit in to the Emergency Room.

ER - Choioce

We're all working in very small, hot boxes on these networking sites lately. We plug in a tiny bit of the overall picture and hit Submit. We move on and hardly look back.

And what do others see? Does it matter? Are they reading? Forgiving? Or do they turn away and not buy into what we're offering?

The answer is some of both. Raise your chances. Get a checkup with Your Message Doctor.

ER - Fewer Speaking Engagements

Hi S_____ D_________,

Thanks for making your free report available. I have recently decided that I want more speaking opportunities and have begun seeking that.

And, one of the things I do, as Your Message Doctor, is heal the message.

In your free report, you wrote:

Bad News Item #1 Less Speaking Engagements
If you are a speaker, you probably already know this, so its
not news to you, but there are less paid speaking
engagements / opportunities than at any time in memory.


I got to this paragraph on page 4 and decide to stop and write you this note. There may be fewer speaking engagements, but there are not less speaking engagements. Saying it right makes it easier to believe you and the program you're selling.

How long has it been since your last check-up?

Your Message Doctor at your service.

Thank you.

DLW

David L. White
YourMessageDoctor.com
Freelance writer, editor, proofreader
1-800-642-9050 • 414-282-7185

ER - Please Conatact Us Soon

Hi M___ S___,

Thanks for the follow on Twitter - @davidlwhite

I went to your website and saw this boo-boo immediately.

"We will be up and running soon! If you wish to conatact us ... "

http://tinyurl.com/nw8aw9

Finding and fixing boo-boo's is my specialty.

And rather than NOT engage with you, like so many will when
they see careless things like this in your sales message, I will
share this with you in the hope that we can work together.

We all need someone to check up on us.

The Doctor is operating.

Regards,

David L. White - YourMessageDoctor.com
Freelance writer, editor, proofreader
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor
1-800-642-9050 • 414-282-7185

ER - Typo Alert at the CorpOrate Level

Another Emergency Room case on a LinkedIn profile. Could this be you?

Typos are like the flu. They can knock you down and drag you out.

Protect yourself. Get your message immunized.

Contact Your Message Doctor now. YourMessageDoctor@gmail.com

ER - personalized

ER - Mis-managment

Besides the misspelling of management, in blue highlight, there's another little thing in here. We'll let it ride for now. There's only so much we can do at any one time.

ER - More than just an Admnistrator

Administrator - not admnistrator.

The Doctor says, "Get a checkup."
It will add years and dollars to your business life.

ER - ... attention *TO* detail.

ER - Oops - broken link - cash down drain

I was just passing along a recommendation from Burt to the JoeNetworks group who suggested they read Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port. I've read it and think it's worth your time to check into it.

However .....

http://www.bookyourselfsolid.com has a link to a blog which does not work.

Firefox can't find the server at blog.bookyourselfsolid.com !!!

I guess they need a proofreader, eh? Yoo Hoo - Michael ....

DavidWhite@YourMessageDoctor.com at your service.

And, for those of you keeping track at home - yes, I did tell Michael Port about it. That's my job.

ER - How to Create Better Passwords (or Why)

__________________

The instructions read: The password must be at least 6 alphanumeric characters with one of the characters being a number. I feel like I need an alphanumeric calculator to pass this quiz - just to sign in to get what ever you're promising. It better be good.

However, the instructions became available only after I was wrong. After I could not guess.

If you have parameters for your new clients and guests, please tell them what they are BEFORE you make them think about it and enter it again. Don't make them wrong before they get started.

This speaks about you and your organization whether you know it or not. This is part of the message and this needs doctoring.

ER - Your Message Doctor examines your entire message

Whether there is language that needs attention in this text block is a question that comes after a simple browser check. How does it look? Your Message Doctor can examine your entire message.

I don't know what else to say. Of all the places to buy whatever he's selling why would I go to a guy that can't do a browser check? What is he going to miss on MY job if he cannot do his own work right? Right?

What does your message say about you? Let's take a look.

ER - Making A Great Impression?

Lots of folks using curly quotes instead of inch marks on Twitter in the Bio section. But this? Make a Great Impression and impression is misspelled?

What will happen to my order?


_____________________

ER - Two addresses

A food writer, or editor, wrote 2 addresses for the Pink Slip networking event at Bar Louie tonight. I've never been there before, but I'll be there tonight. I noticed the error.

I also sent this shot on to the the Bar Louie people that they might email their attendee list with correct information. Might be just me and Louie. Well, and Katie Felten, LinkedIn trainer. I noticed her name on the list.

I'm guessing that this is the correct info.
Bar Louie
1114 N. Water St.
Milwaukee, WI 53202
(414) 847-1492

P.S. I just heard back from Dean, the host. Nice to get a pat on the back.

David,

Nice catch on the typo. I will contact Amy to see if they can update it on OnMilwaukee.com and I'll get it out to the group.

Thanks,
Dean