Sunday, June 28, 2009

ER - valauble information



I know this person. She can spell. Really.
She got most of the words right. Right? Is that enough?
Details count when we're trying to be of value to new and existing clients.

How can I help you maintain a credible presence?

It's beyond affordable. It's profitable.

Need proof?

ER - Is this a question?


So, is this a question?

ER - Pester Proofreading can land you in the Emergency Room



She says - "Somehow (I really do not know how - after all, I pester everybody about proofreading), I had the wrong time listed on the event site for the ....."

Hard to make a buck that way. Or appear as credible as you probably are.

I have adopted the phrase Pester Proofreading in order to compare it with Professional Proofreading. Your friends, family, peers, superiors and subordinates have their own agendas. They may pay you the attention you desire when you can make it worth their while. And paying attention is what proofreading is about.

=======================================================


Someone, whose name has been removed, is offering a teleconference in writing profiles for Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. There's a typo in the number of characters allowed in Twitter. The invitation would be more readable if the text were set flush left. Flush left helps the eye move with ease to the start of each line.



=======================================================


If this person were to use bullets "•" or asterisks "*" between service offerings or areas of expertise instead of these "|" I would not be writing this sentence. The vertical line is fine when YOU can control the font display. Sometimes this mark looks like the letter "I" and that pulls the reader away from your message.

=======================================================


Here we are not spelling Facebook right. That's not a good thing.

=======================================================




The Doctor will see you now.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Emergency Room for local High School Principal


David,

This is the Principal's Letter page from a local high school.
To be fair, it does say "under Construction", but still...

* * * *

Thank you to alert reader Pat Prosser for sending this news bit in to the Emergency Room.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Flat tire in the driveway at home.

Flat tire in the driveway at home. Late for two appointments. We can’t bust the nuts loose. No compressor. Neighbors at work. Other car in for A/C. Tow truck enroute.

Flat tire in the driveway at home.

Life’s little blessings.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Up Selling by the Police Department


Complete Stops Free!
Rolling Stops $83.80
(Your Choice)
Thank you for stopping.
Greenfield Police Dept.
_______________________

One of the problems with this product is the customer never knows when the upgrade is available.

I think the design could easily be bolder, thereby enhancing the message. I'll have to see who I know in the PD. I'd like to see how well this message works. Clever.

ER - Choioce



We're all working in very small, hot boxes on these networking sites lately. We plug in a tiny bit of the overall picture and hit Submit. We move on and hardly look back.

And what do others see? Does it matter? Are they reading? Forgiving? Or do they turn away and not buy into what we're offering?

The answer is some of both. Raise your chances. Get a checkup with Your Message Doctor.

Monday, June 15, 2009

ER - Fewer Speaking Engagements

Hi S_____ D_________,

Thanks for making your free report available. I have recently decided that I want more speaking opportunities and have begun seeking that.

And, one of the things I do, as Your Message Doctor, is heal the message.

In your free report, you wrote:

Bad News Item #1 Less Speaking Engagements
If you are a speaker, you probably already know this, so its
not news to you, but there are less paid speaking
engagements / opportunities than at any time in memory.



I got to this paragraph on page 4 and decide to stop and write you this note. There may be fewer speaking engagements, but there are not less speaking engagements. Saying it right makes it easier to believe you and the program you're selling.

How long has it been since your last check-up?

Your Message Doctor at your service.

Thank you.

DLW

David L. White
YourMessageDoctor.com
Freelance writer, editor, proofreader
1-800-642-9050 • 414-282-7185

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Value of Networking



One of the values of networking is that others chime in and help spread the message.

Thank you to Janet for mentioning this engagement to your Facebook people.

She wrote: "A friend is giving a presentation on social networking - Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn - this Sunday, June 14, at the Mac OS Users Group of Milwaukee. The public is invited. The link for info is below. www.double-click.org"

Saturday, June 13, 2009

ER - Please Conatact Us Soon




Hi M___ S___,

Thanks for the follow on Twitter - @davidlwhite

I went to your website and saw this boo-boo immediately.

"We will be up and running soon! If you wish to conatact us ... "

http://tinyurl.com/nw8aw9

Finding and fixing boo-boo's is my specialty.

And rather than NOT engage with you, like so many will when
they see careless things like this in your sales message, I will
share this with you in the hope that we can work together.

We all need someone to check up on us.

The Doctor is operating.

Regards,

David L. White - YourMessageDoctor.com
Freelance writer, editor, proofreader
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor
1-800-642-9050 • 414-282-7185

Print Provider

The old joke is Price, Quality, Service - Pick Two.

What do you value in a print provider? Are your needs being met?

Your Message Doctor has a long history of delivering ink-on-paper products.

David is currently working on price sheets for 1, 2, and full-color envelopes as well as short run, full color catalogs, booklets, brochures, and postcards produced by local vendors.

Let's trade. I'll get you prices and samples when you get me your specs.

David L. White - YourMessageDoctor.com
Communications Consultant

1-800-642-9050 • 414-282-7185

ER - Typo Alert at the CorpOrate Level

Another Emergency Room case on a LinkedIn profile. Could this be you?

Typos are like the flu. They can knock you down and drag you out.

Protect yourself. Get your message immunized.

Contact Your Message Doctor now. YourMessageDoctor@gmail.com

Friday, June 12, 2009

Thank you, George Lottermoser

“David's wit and way with words brings promotional messages to life. As an editor he spots glitches virtually instantaneously. Simply delightful to work with.” July 9, 2008

George Lottermoser, Owner, Lotter Moser & Associates / imagist.com
was with another company when working with David at Your Message Doctor

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Chris Kokalis

“David is amazing at what he does. I have hired David to help me with several projects and the results have always been above and beyond what was expected. He has a great personality which makes him easy to work & get along with. David has always taken an interest in my business and often times makes me aware of things without me requesting anything from him. This to me demonstrates that he truly cares about his clients which is always important in business. I look forward to working with David on future projects.” May 20, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Personable , On Time

Chris Kokalis
hired David as a Writer/Editor in 2008 , and hired David more than once
from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Sandy Walden

“I've asked David to edit my blog prior to posting on many occasions. I've always been very pleased with the results. David's editing is gentle, accurate and a great value. When he is finished editing my blog, it still sounds like me, but a bit better, slightly more polished version of me. Working with David is a pleasure, not only is his work ethic superb, but he's good-natured and an awful lot of fun to talk with as well. I highly recommend David to anyone who would like to make their written words speak as eloquently as their verbal speech.” May 20, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Expert , High Integrity

Sandy Walden
hired David as a Writer/Editor in 2008 , and hired David more than once

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Mark Wilcox

“When I need to get a letter to a prospect and I need it to be right I call David White!” May 21, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Expert , Good Value

Mark Wilcox
hired David as a Business Consultant in 2009 , and hired David more than once

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Jeremy Belter

“David is exceptional at his work. In fact if you have any problems with writing he will find what needs to be changed. His attention to detail is amazing.” May 21, 2009

Top qualities: Expert , On Time , High Integrity

Jeremy Belter
hired David as a Business Consultant in 2009

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Greg Dugan

“Not only is David very good at his craft of writing and expressing human emotion, but he can also instruct individuals how to express themselves using the written word. In addition, he brings a deep sense of emotion and passion to his work. He would be a valuable addition to any project because of his dedication, passion and knowledge.” May 22, 2009

Greg Dugan , Account Manager , CTACCESS div of Computer Technologies of WI
was with another company when working with David at Your Message Doctor

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Jim Horrell

“David is a detail oriented person with great editing skills, awesome organizational skills, and a true love for making written communication more effective.” May 23, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Expert , High Integrity

Jim Horrell (jrhorrell@live.com)
hired David as a Writer/Editor in 2009

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Robert Striegel

“I had created a letter of introduction for a new position in a High Tech industry... Although the letter seemed effective to me, I decided to "run it by" a trusted professional and selected David White to be my "Message Doctor". David asked me to email him a preliminary copy to review and met with me in person to make suggestions and recommendations. I ended up using every one of David's recommendations and sent out a more impactful and effective marketing piece, primarily due to his uniquely qualified eye for the printed word... Thank you David... Robert M. Striegel, owner Teknodyne” May 28, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Good Value , Creative

Robert Striegel
hired David as a Writer/Editor in 2008 , and hired David more than once

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, William Langford

“The best recommendation I can make is that I've used his services more than once and intend to use his services in the future. David is very thorough, taking time to understand my particular problem before attempting to solve it and is very reasonable in price. His character is above reproach.” May 30, 2009

Top qualities: Great Results , Personable , Good Value

William Langford

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Thank you, Robert Matuszak

“David provided insight and knowledge to help me present my promotional piece that is succinct, clear and generates business.Thank you much.” June 6, 2009

Robert Matuszak

from my LinkedIn profile -
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yourmessagedoctor

Your Message Doctor is ...

... writing an Intro to Social Media presentation
for the Mac Users Group http://double-click.org/ on 6/14/09.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Joyfully Jobless?

Joyfully Jobless - Three seminars. Which one for me? Don't know yet. Hurry - only a few seats left. http://joyfullyjobless.com/madison.html


Joyfully Jobless - Three seminars. Which one for me? Don't know yet. Hurry - only a few seats left. http://joyfullyjobless.com/madison.html

Tuesday, June 9, 2009